Journaling To Cope With Loss
There are lot of things to deal with in life. Some minor, some major. We wanted to share how journaling and creative expression has helped others deal with the loss and the impending loss of a loved one.
David Sack M.D writes in an article for Psychology Today:
“Talk therapy has long been a standard approach for helping people through loss and life transitions. Studies have shown that writing about one’s experience is another form of traumatic disclosure that can be cathartic. One study followed people who were recently unemployed and found that those assigned to write about thoughts and emotions related to being fired or laid off found new jobs faster than those who did not participate in expressive writing exercises.”
When I ponder the words to the
Eric Clapton song “Tears in Heaven” about the tragic loss of his infant son, I wonder what compelled him to write this song. Surely it wasn’t to make money. Surely he didn’t want to sadden others. Perhaps it was his way of attempting to express his grief, love and his loss in a manner in which he could best process it.
There are myriad examples throughout the ages of artists using their medium to express their loss. From, painting to poetry to literature, their loss is profoundly artistically expressed.
As an example of creativity as a means of processing grief, in her article,
Helping Children Deal With Loss Through the Journaling Process, Katherine Dorn Zotovich writes,
“For some children keeping a journal is a wonderful way to facilitate the grieving process. Encourage them to draw about their feelings. I call this type of drawing, “heart art.” Young children think symbolically rather than with the use of written words. Pictures reveal a child’s thinking. Drawing actually helps children find their words. Journal exercises provide opportunities for gentle discussions and can offer insights into a child’s fears and misconceptions.”
She continues,
“Keeping a journal allows children to creatively express themselves. Use their drawings as a springboard for caring conversations. For older children and teens, writing in a journal gives them permission to record their feelings and emotions. It allows them to feel close to their loved one and remember happier times. It also provides an opportunity to say good-bye. This is a very important step towards acceptance in the grieving process.”
In our posts on
Legacy: Keepsake Journaling we talk about creating a kind of memory box of our lives and our loved ones lives. In Joanna Rowland’s book,
The Memory Box: Dealing With Grief, The child in the story creates a memory box to keep mementos and written memories of the loved one, to help in the grieving process. A parent guide in the back includes information on helping children manage the complex and difficult emotions they feel when they lose someone they love, as well as suggestions on how to create their own memory box.
Much has been written on processing grief because it is something we all have to confront eventually. Perhaps the most widely accepted process is,
The Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler, which are:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
However, the clinical data and centuries of artists work would suggest we seriously consider the use of creative “expression” as the potential sixth step in dealing with loss.
We shouldn’t shy away from our grief or memories in a misplaced attempt to protect ourselves or others from discomfort. Loss does not mean we can’t remember and honor our loved ones and cherish our memories of them. Perhaps a memory box, journal writing and drawings may be a healthier outlet as opposed bottling up our grief and allowing it to consume all aspects of our lives. The act of expression, specifically creative expression, is an outlet for our emotions, a “forward motion”, which has provided many, as evidenced by their works, comfort and solace.
Here is a thoughtful piece by
Mia Monroe with, 50 Grief Journal Prompts, to assist in the formation of your own ideas. Notice the reference in this article to Ted Talk
The Cure for Grief in which Norah Casey talks about how she needed ‘Forward Motion’ after her husband died. Mia provides journal prompts to kick-start a go-forward action plan after the loss of a loved one.
